your ex best wife’s friend
bare feet finally
I like you better now
the rain, like that first night
of course, you would remember that
he missed you
like something was left unsaid
like someone was trying to say
something worth saying
my life’s been good, honest
and still fitfully, I remember you-
miss your simple nature and expansive mind
there are times I long for the me of that time too.
awake now, twenty years later
and even though I hadn’t thought to think of it
it’s your birthday today
and I was there with you just now in that hazy state of wonder
a waterlogged memory
of two long lost kids
who exist somewhere else now maybe
imaginary friends
on a real forgotten island

about this poem
i wrote this poem the morning of July 7th, 2022 just after I’d woken from a vivid dream about someone who was very important to me decades ago. for the twenty years prior (to this dream) I experienced a reoccurring dream with him and others from that time- my brain has worked hard through the years to process that pain and that grief, the loss of that friend and our friendship and then this dream came (two years ago) and it was so different and its timing so auspicious and the reoccurring dream doesn’t reoccur anymore and I finally understand mostly through this poem that I have come through it and there is space and breath where once there was only hurt & blame
thanks for reading ~ xo,s
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