santos scribes

_{it happened to a family i didn’t know, in a town where i thought i knew everyone
it was the friday before christmas, nineteen ninety, i was just nine
a fire began in a trashcan under a sink; on the first floor of a beautiful sleeping house
in the stony-still woods an oily nest of rags spontaneously burst to flame}

_{it was the friday before christmas, nineteen ninety, i was nine
the young family was trapped together in a smoky second floor bedroom
in the stony-still woods an oily nest of rags spontaneously burst to flame
trapped with hot fire & rising smoke, the mother did what mother’s do}

_{her young family was trapped together in a smoky second floor bedroom
she jumped, from a second-story window, not for her life, but for her babies’ lives
trapped with hot fire & rising smoke, the mother did what mother’s do
she jumped & she landed, broken & still she ran for help across boombridge road}

_{she jumped, from a second-story window, not for her life, but for the lives of her babies
the neighbor who ran back with the mother to help was a man named mr. delacruz
she jumped & she landed, broken & still she ran for help across boombridge road
the man who came to help was my elementary school friend krystal’s father}

_{the neighbor who ran back with the mother to help was a man named mr. delacruz
without hesitation he climbed a ladder to the second story window of a burning house
the person who came to help was my elementary school friend krystal’s father
three times mr. delacruz entered the smoke-filled bedroom as the fire roared below}

_{without hesitation he climbed a ladder to the second story of a burning house
the first time he found and carried out an 11-year-old girl
three times mr. delacruz entered the smoke-filled bedroom as the fire roared below
the second time mr. delacruz went further into the smoke-filled room}

_{the first time he found and carried out an 11-year-old girl
he recovered the 11-year old’s 3-year-old sister, as the firetrucks arrived below}

_{the second time mr. delacruz went further into the smoke-filled room
his third attempt at recuse or recovery was foiled by too much fire & too much smoke}

_{he recovered the 11-year old’s 3-year-old sister, as the firetrucks arrived below
before he was able to locate or draw out the others; two young boys and their father
his third attempt at recuse or recovery was foiled by too much fire & too much smoke
it’s hard to imagine mr. delacruz’s feet descending those ladder rungs that last time}

_{before he was able to locate or draw out the others; two young boys and their father
the mother & her 11-year-old daughter were the only family members to survive
it’s hard to imagine mr. delacruz’s feet descending those ladder rungs that last time
i have carried the mark of this memory with me for 33 years}

_{the mother & her 11-year-old daughter were the only family members to survive
it happened to a family i didn’t know, in a town where i thought i knew everyone
i have carried the mark of this memory with me for 33 years
a fire began in a trashcan under a sink; on the first floor of a beautiful sleeping house}

about this poem

this is my first go at a pantoum poem. pantoum (pan-tune) poems are structured stanza repetitive poems that commonly have a ruminative or even obsessive quality to them. i found this form lent itself well to telling the story of this horrific and deeply heart breaking tragedy that happened to a family in my hometown when i was a girl. the memory resurfaced this past weekend and as i spent time with it i came to realize the profound effect this event had on me; the deep seated fears, the decades buried grief & sadness, and the at time almost obsessive compulsive thoughts and behaviors around fire and family were all still there 33 years later. i am grateful for the chance to move through these big feelings by way of this fascinating style of poetry. thanks for reading xo